i haven't blogged in the longest time....u can check the last date that i blogged to know the date to the day.  well...by the end of this week, i will be telling my parents that i am gay.  it's even scary talking about, thinking they're going to pop out of nowhere and just suddenly read this and know before i tell them.  I'm quite sure my parents don't know that i am already because if they ever even had any inclination that i was, they would've most likely blocked it out of their close-minded heads because of their ignorant sways of pride.  my brother pretty much knows...i've dropped very large hints on him, though he's kind of ignorant and stupid too....but he's the type to just make fun of me for it.  so i finally just want to tell them...i will start with my brother, but he'll be the hardest one to tell.  Maybe because he's a gay hater.  but eh...he'll live.  but yeah...i'm kind of in a bad mood right now because of stupid people, who i had the naiveness of labeling them a FRIEND, whom of which say stuff and don't think about it...then they dont apologize.  inconsiderate assholes... hm ...kind of reminds me of other people i know that i will never label as my friends or anything.  ...it made me think back to when my ex-boyfriend called me a slut...while we were still going out.  i know nobody will read this...but at least i'm getting some of it out of my system.  i have a boyfriend....and 2 people have told me they liked me the day after it became official..and my ex told me that he still likes me a lot, but knows that we can't be together.  but it's ok about my ex, because we are best friends and we know we still like each other.  This is stupid....life is bugging me right now.  i want to live in texas...with a car and license...with a two story house...with more money than we have here...with our house owned and paid for already...with a newly transformed family...with no lil gay drama circles that put me down...with new friends who are different than my friends now...with an unlimited calling card so i can talk to my Cali friends anytime i want haha...with a new life.  i know everybody wishes for that, so it's not really original to wish for it...but hey...a guy can dream.  currently listening to Adam's Song by Blink 182....good song.  i want my brian.....

today was pretty good.  but i'm in a slow jam/slow love song mood.  hahahh..nobody knows what to request for me to listen to.  don't u ahte it when you're feeling someway but u don't know why you're feeling it?  i swear...it bugs me sometimes.  haha...and i don't know what i'm going to do tomorrow for the 4th of July Celebration!!  my family doesn't really celebrate it..but i want to go do something!  i CANNOT just sit in the house WATCHING everyone on tv doing fun things and i'm sitting there at home just not doing anything.  I'm not the type of person to invite myself somewhere, so so far i'm not doing anything.  i'm going to be bored...soo everyone..i'll be home.  hahaha..not like any of you know who i am.  but i'll be home.  ill blog later...bye ^_^